The Power of Embodied Allyship✨

Happy Pride Season🦄! Upend global transphobia & homophobia by showing up for your LGBTQIA+ colleagues. This article shares what an embodied ally is and how to be one by practicing 3 somatic skills.

Did you ever experience a time in your career when you needed support? Perhaps a moment when you felt overlooked, undermined, or simply unheard.

What a relief it was when a colleague, a manager, or even an acquaintance showed up, not with a grand gesture, but with a quiet nod, a strategic question, or a kind word.

Have you ever been that kind of person for someone else at work? The quiet satisfaction of knowing you made a difference, however small, by simply showing up.

In the complex tapestry of our workplaces – the constellation of people around us and our environments can easily shift in an instant. As they do, so do the power dynamics.

This is why there are times when we may need an ally, and other times when we can be one. As you celebrate Pride, this article will help you become an embodied leader.

Why Does Allyship Matter?

As a business leader, you are called to live your values, because it’s not enough to simply talk about them; you must act on them, and you must embody them.

This is where the true power of allyship lies – in moving beyond passive support to active solidarity, taking on the struggle of another person as if it were your own.

This impactful video from Oslo Pride, produced by Norwegian author and Oslo City Council Member, Eivind Trædal, illustrates this kind of allyship through simple acts.

This photo is a still image from this video of an aging gay couple holding hands, gazing at the Pride flag. Its subtle yet profound portrayal of solidarity, demonstrates that signaling support can be a powerful act of defiance in the face of rising global transphobia and homophobia.

Be an Embodied Ally

The term "allyship" itself can sometimes be misunderstood, even co-opted, leading to well-intentioned but ultimately performative actions that may cause further harm.

How do we distinguish genuine acts of allyship from pity, charity, or gestures based on projection, a checklist, or a desire for self-congratulation?

Even with the best intentions, projecting what we think someone needs, rather than truly listening, can miss the mark entirely and cause further harm.

Ticking boxes without being in genuine relationship is performative, and it's something to avoid. That’s why you are encouraged to be an embodied ally.

An embodied ally, a person who doesn’t just say they support a person or group of people different from themselves, but they show it with action and how they are.

Here are five key ways you can be an embodied ally:

1. Allyship = Verb; Allyship ≠ Noun. Being an ally isn't a title you bestow upon yourself; it's a series of actions you take. Whether it's checking in with someone after they've experienced harm, asking how they would like you to ally with them, or simply creating space for their voice, allyship demands action. It's about showing your support through concrete deeds, in alignment with your integrity – doing the right thing, whether or not anyone is watching.

2. Allyship is a Contract. Allyship is something that can only be practiced in the moment. It's an ongoing commitment that requires continuous renewal. Simply pointing to a past instance where you showed up for someone doesn't automatically confer the title of "ally." You earn that designation, repeatedly, through your present actions, by those you ally alongside. It's a reciprocal relationship built on trust and consistent effort.

3. Allies, Accomplices, and Co-Conspirators: We Need Them All. I once interviewed a prominent trans advocate asking for her thoughts on the distinction between these terms. Without a beat, she responded:

At this point, we need all of these people to show up. I'm not concerned with the words as much as I am concerned about people taking on the struggles of trans people as if they were their own, and helping make the world marginally better for all of us.

This is a vital reminder not to get caught up in or debate semantics. Focus instead on the positive impact you can have. Whether you identify as an ally, accomplice, or co-conspirator, what truly matters is the tangible support you offer when it’s requested.

4. Ask Yourself: Who Do I Need to Become to Be An Embodied Ally? Fear can be a powerful inhibitor, but it doesn't diminish your capacity to be a powerful ally. Taking acts of allyship often means moving into discomfort. Remember why you are called to be an ally. Move in the direction of what matters most to you as an ally, even when you feel scared and uncertain of the outcome. Your presence and action in moments of vulnerability are precisely when allyship is most impactful.

5. Attention is Your Superpower. To be an effective ally, it's critical to pay careful attention to your surroundings. Who's in the room? What are the nonverbal dynamics at play? How are people engaging (or disengaging)? Look out for common signs of workplace exclusion. Is someone being unintentionally left out, overlooked, underestimated, or interrupted simply because they are an LGBTQIA+ individual? Notice these signs, and then practice ways of checking in to learn the best way you can ally alongside another person. Your observational skills are a vital tool in identifying moments where allyship is needed.

Somatic Skills for Embodied Allyship

It’s not enough to simply know about embodied allyship. To become this kind of ally it requires developing somatic skills. To begin, practice these three somatic skills:

1. Centering the Other Without Abandoning Yourself. This involves primarily centering the person or group you are allying for. The next time you bear witness to an act of exclusion, practice the following:

• Take Verbal & Nonverbal Cues. Listen deeply and respond to the needs expressed by those you are centering, rather than imposing your assumptions.

• Resist Abandoning Yourself. While centering others, remain grounded in your own needs and boundaries. This isn't about self-sacrifice; it’s about sustainable support.

• Be Engaged, Responsive, and Connected. Your presence is fully engaged, allowing you to respond authentically while staying connected to your own internal resources. The practice is to recognize when to embody engagement, responsiveness, or connection in a given moment.

2. Earning Consent and Shaping Allyship. When practicing embodied allyship, Dr. Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent may be helpful. It prompts aspiring allies to consider the following self-reflection questions:

• What am I giving?

• Who am I doing it for?

• Am I offering this allyship for them, or for myself so I can feel good about doing something positive?

Often, those of us on the margins learn to "play along" – to make an ally feel good in order to receive the help we need.

This is a pattern we must consciously transform within ourselves, both as allies and as recipients. As an ally, your job is to receive feedback on how your allyship is landing.

At other times, if you find yourself on the margins, it's about courageously giving feedback. What worked well, and what would be an “even better if…”

This is the practice of "collective allying" and "empowered receiving." It illuminates the dynamic interplay between the "mainstreams and margins" and the essential role of the “empowered receiver” to guide the allyship they need.

3. Practice Collective Allying & Empowered Receiving. Imagine, for a moment, that all of your LGBTQIA+ colleagues are together, and you are in an allyship role.

You are encouraged to notice your own body’s sensations, pressure, temperature, and energy to determine how to best ally based on what your body is feeling.

• Empowered Receiving. For LGBTQIA+ folks, feel what it's like to be here, shaping the allyship you need and receiving authentic support:

  • What are you getting from this experience?

  • What’s it like to know that allies feel what you feel?

  • What arises knowing that you will guide the support you need?

• Collective Allyship. For allies, remain present, focused, connected, and attentive to what you are feeling and notice what it’s like to center others:

  • What cues are you noticing from those you are allying with?

  • What’s it like to center another person’s needs?

  • What arises when specific requests are made of you?

Allies are then encouraged to line up in four different positions: 1) at the side, 2) in front, 3) in rear, and 4) in a 360 degree circle surrounding LGBTQIA+ folks.

If you’re curious about practicing the essential somatic skills to become an embodied ally, be sure to register for one of our June Belonging Practice Sessions.

There we will have the chance to experience what it is like to be an embodied ally, and also to try on the experience of empowered receiving.

These are complimentary practice sessions, and they are great ways to practice community care with a group of purpose driven organizational and people leaders.

Before our next Belonging Practice, be sure to download a copy of the Belonging Practice Guide, and read about how somatic skills can help build belonging spaces.

If you found this post helpful, please consider sharing it with a trusted friend or colleague. Together, let’s grow the impact of our Belonging Movement!